As the owner of Cup of Arms, I have been in the retail stationery business and have been considered an expert on monogramming, personalization, and wedding etiquette since 1995.  I could be considered "old school", "traditional", "more formal", or what I like to refer to as "classic."  Although my goal as an expert is to advise you on the "proper" etiquette of monogramming, please understand there are really no right or wrong ways to do ANYTHING when you are personalizing something.  THE DECISION IS ALWAYS YOURS REGARDLESS OF WHAT "THE BOOKS" say and regardless of what "expert" advice you receive! The entire point of a personalized gift or accessory is just that - to bespeak YOU! So, read ahead, educate yourself if you so desire on what have long been considered "proper" forms of monogramming, then be creative and make something you LOVE that is personal just for YOU - by "THE Book" or NOT.  

I love our Signature Collection of monograms, name designs and art; some very traditional designs and some not.  Each piece in this collection was designed exclusively for Cup of Arms by a talented team of graphic artists and cannot be found anywhere else.  We spent hours curating this Collection and my hope is that you love it as much as I do. Some designs lend themselves to be more traditional than others, however, I think there is something for everyone. The designs in the Signature Collection are only available as shown with no choice of alternate typestyle so this makes it easy.  WIth our expert advice below regarding personalization etiquette, you can pop your initials in and order these designs in a jiffy.  Although you may not change typestyles with our Signature Collection designs, you may ADD personalization in any typestyle you choose above or below a Signature Collection (if space allows) or completely personalize SIDE 2 from scratch making the possibilities limitless.

Our Custom Collection offers more common designs and more flexibility.  Most of these designs are available in any typestyle (although some are available only as shown). We have a huge array of typestyles to choose from to make any monogram in the Custom Collection completely your own. Please feel free to contact us should you have any question about monogramming, personalization, or even wedding paper etiquette. We are here to help!

Have fun, enjoy, digest what is important to you and as my grandmother used to say way down in Mississippi, "throw what's not important out with the bath water!"

CHEERS!

Angela

ABOUT MONOGRAM ETIQUETTE

Obviously there are many different scenarios and options for monograms, most involving uses of one's married last name initial(s).  When a married woman chooses to keep her maiden last name, her maiden last name initial is used instead of her married last name initial and her monogram remains the same. Women who have been married more than once typically drop all previous married last name initials (first marriage, second marriage, etc.) and use their given first name initial, their maiden last name initial and their new married last name initial. Initials representing previous marriages are not used for a re-married female. 

While some married women prefer to use their given middle name in a monogram, it is more customary to use their maiden last name intial as the middle name initial. Married women traditionally keep their identities as members of the families into which they are born by using their maiden name instead of their given middle name for their married monogram. Many women now choose to hyphenate their maiden last name and their new married name. 

THREE OR FOUR LETTER MONOGRAMS

The most traditional monograms are usually three letters with the most popular style by far being the three initial style with a LARGER CENTER INITIAL. This is a versatile monogram style that may be used by a single female, male, opposite sex couple or modern same sex couple. 

• SINGLE FEMALE or MARRIED FEMALE WHO KEEPS MAIDEN LAST NAME: 
• Ruth Sarah Gatsby R G S
• FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• GIVEN MIDDLE NAME INITIAL on the right
• LAST NAME INITIAL larger in the center

• MARRIED FEMALE:
• Ruth Smith Gatsby R G S
• FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• MAIDEN LAST NAME INITIAL on the right
• MARRIED LAST NAME INITIAL larger in the center

• MARRIED FEMALE KEEPING MAIDEN LAST NAME HYPHENATED WITH HUSBAND'S LAST NAME:
• Ruth Smith-Gatsby R G S
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• MAIDEN LAST NAME INITIAL second
• MARRIED LAST NAME INITIAL last

• MALE: 
• Robert Steven Gatsby R G S
• FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• MIDDLE NAME INITIAL on the right
• LAST NAME INITIAL larger in the center

• COUPLE COMBINED MONOGRAM (opposite sex or same sex): 
• Ruth and Steve Gatsby R G S
• FEMALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• MALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the right
• MALE LAST NAME INITIAL larger in center
• Ruth and Sally Gatsby R G S
• FEMALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left,
• FEMALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the right
• LAST NAME INTIAL of either partner larger in the center
• Rick and Steve Gatsby R G S
• MALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• MALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the right
• LAST NAME INITIAL of either partner larger in the center

Mongrams that read straight across with all letters the same size are also considered traditional monograms.  The last name initial is ALWAYS LAST in this style monogram. This is the most popular traditional male monogram style and we offer several variations of this style in our Signature and Custom Collection monograms.

This is also a good style monogram for someone who wants to use four initials instead of just three. For example, in the South we have many folks who have a "double first" name (Mary Louise Smith Eberle, Billy Keith Williams Bradford). There are also last names that consist of  TWO words and therefore two initials (Von Trapp, Du Pont). The inclusion of the SECOND initial of the last name is strictly personal in this case: Mary Ellen Von Trapp may use a three OR four letter initial such as  M E V  or  M E V T), whereas Betty Jo McAlister would typically use a 3 letter monogram (B J M).

• SINGLE FEMALE or MARRIED FEMALE KEEPS MAIDEN NAME: 
• Ruth Sarah Eberle  R S E
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• GIVEN MIDDLE NAME INITIAL second
• GIVEN LAST NAME INITIAL last

• MARRIED FEMALE:
• Ruth Smith Eberle  R S E
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• MAIDEN LAST NAME INITIAL second
• MARRIED LAST NAME INITIAL last

• MARRIED FEMALE KEEPING MAIDEN LAST NAME HYPHENATED WITH HUSBAND'S LAST NAME:
• Ruth Smith-Eberle  R S E
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• MAIDEN LAST NAME INITIAL second
• MARRIED LAST NAME INITIAL last

• MARRIED FEMALE WITH DOUBLE FIRST NAME (4 initials straight across): 
• Ruth Ann Smith Eberle R A S E
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• DOUBLE FIRST NAME INITIAL second
• MAIDEN LAST NAME INITIAL third
• MARRIED LAST NAME INITIAL last

• MARRIED FEMALE WITH TWO CAPITAL LETTERS IN LAST NAME (4 initials straight across): 
• Ruth Anderson St. Edward R A S E
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• MAIDEN LAST NAME INITIAL second
• FIRST CAPITAL LETTER OF LAST NAME third
• LAST CAPITAL LETTER OF LAST NAME  last

• MALE: 
• Richard Steven Eberle R S E
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• SECOND NAME INITIAL second
• LAST NAME INITIAL third

• MALE WITH TWO CAPITAL LETTERS IN LAST NAME (4 initials straight across): 
• Richard Steven St. Edward R S S E
• FIRST NAME INITIAL first
• MIDDLE NAME INITIAL second
• FIRST CAPITAL LETTER OF LAST NAME third
• LAST CAPITAL LETTER OF LAST NAME  last

TWO LETTER MONOGRAMS

Not quite as traditional are two letter monograms which are increasing in popularity.  When using a two letter monogram, the first name initial is usually on the left, and the last name initial is usually on the right however, there are many variations of this style. A couple may use this style for two FIRST name initials, or a couple in which both partners keep their last names may use this style for two LAST name initials. An individual whose last name consists of TWO words may use this monogram for a last name initial (for example Von Trapp, Du Pont, Aan Capele).

• COUPLE COMBINED MONOGRAM (opposite sex or same sex): 
• Anne and Charles  A C
• FEMALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• MALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the right

• Anne and Christine  A C
• FEMALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• FEMALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the right

• Ruth Anderson and Sally Cole  A C
• FEMALE LAST NAME INITIAL on the left
• FEMALE LAST NAME INITIAL on the right

• Allen and Charles  A C
• MALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the left
• MALE FIRST NAME INITIAL on the right

• Rick Anderson and Steve Cole  A C
• MALE LAST NAME INITIAL on the left
• MALE LAST NAME INITIAL on the right

• INDIVIDUAL WITH A LAST NAME CONSISTING OF TWO SEPERATE WORDS THEREFORE TWO INITIALS REPRESENT LAST NAME: 
• Elisabet Aan Capele  A C
• FIRST INITIAL OF LAST NAME on the left
• SECOND INITIAL OF LAST NAME on the right

ONE LETTER MONOGRAMS

One letter monograms can serve anyone's purpose. A single initial monogram can represent a first name initial, a last name initial, a female's first or last name initial, a male's first or last name initial, a married couple's last name initial (opposite or same sex marriage). Younger ones tend to use a single initial monogram with their FIRST name, whereas we older (ahem) generational folks tend to use a single initial monogram to represent the LAST name. You are at your own liberty with this style to use it the way you wish!

NEW TAKES ON MONOGRAMMING TRADITION

With the rapid rise of social media and more and more familiarity with hash tags, texting, tweeting, insta, FB, Pinterest and other social media venues, social media acronyms and abbreviations have taken on a life of their own as actual "monogram".  We have seen a huge rise at paperhouseonline.com in the past 24 months alone of fun social media acryonyms being used as playful monograms! Some are subtle and require a second take to realize that the letters are not really initials, but a fun abbreviation that makes you stop and think! 

Some fun social media acronyms we have seen that have been styled into an entirely new category of "monograms" include:

• DFTBA
• FaTH
• FTW
• FUTAB
• MTFBWY
• AAS
• BAC

ABOUT OTHER TYPES OF PERSONALIZATION

Monograms are not the only way to make your mark on our products. A majority of our customers personalize their products with names, special places, names of their condo, their cabin, their lake house, cities and states, phrases, hashtags, events, the list is endless.

PERSONALIZING WITH NAMES

• For a opposite sex couple when titles are not used, the FEMALE'S name is listed first whether a last name is included or not:
• Ruth and Steve
• Ruth and Steve Gatsby
• For same sex couples when titles are not used, either name may be listed first whether last names are included or not.
• Ruth and Sally
• Richard and Steve
• For a family name, DO NOT USE AN APOSTROPHE; THIS MAKE THE NAME A PLURAL POSSESSIVE- NOT A PLURAL:
• The Gatsby Family
• The Gatsbys
• When individual family member's names are listed, the father's name should come first, followed by the wife's name, then the children are listed typically beginning with the oldest one first:
• Steve, Ruth, Sally, Richard and Mary (using "and")
• Steve, Ruth, Sally, RIchard & Mary (using an ampersand -&)
• When parents are listed first on a separate line (usually the top line), the wife's name is listed first followed by "and" or an ampersand (&) and then the husband's name. The children's names are then centered underneath the parents on line two and are listed according to age with the oldest being first:
•                  Ruth and Steve
•          Sally, Richard and Mary

BACK TO GRAMMAR SCHOOL! PLURALIZATION RULES

• Do not confuse a PLURAL with a PLURAL POSSESSIVE; an apostrophe is used to show OWNERSHIP, NEVER to form a plural!
• PLURAL: The Gatsbys, The Gatsby Family, The Henrys, Cheers from the Kiels, The Joneses, The Churches, The Fishes
• PLURAL POSSESSIVE: The Gatsby's Cabin, The Henry's Farm, Kiel's Bar, The Jones' Condo, Church's Lake House, The Fish's Sea
• To make a name a plural add an /s/ UNLESS the name ends in an /s/, /x/, /z/, /ch/ or /sh/
• Even if a name ends in /o/ or /y/, add s to make it a plural!
• If a last name ends in /s/, /x/, /z/, /ch/, or /sh/, add an /-es/ to the end of the name to make it a plural:
• The Joneses, The Williamses, The Churches
• Many people feel this is not only looks awkward, but sounds awkward. As an alternative you may want to make these name plural in an alternative way such as:
• The Williams Family, The Church Family, The Jones Family